Are You a Perfect Parent? Then this Is Not For You.
[This post is the second in a series of posts of breaking the cycle of overwhelm, anger and guilt and rewiring for peace, connection and presence. The first post was on my parenting breakdown and breakthrough. This post is on shifting my goal from parenting perfection to parenting peace. The next post is on key perspective shifts that parents can use, that I used, in the rough moments of parenting.]
I am writing this because I do not seek to be perfect. I do not seek to be right. I do not seek to be better than…
Perfection is not a desirable goal. Perfection is limiting. Forever sitting in judgment, yet completely unhelpful, even in the split second one might precariously balance on that pinpoint precipice after all that effort and energy to meet this one goal…
I am writing this because what I, and most parents I meet and work with, strive for in life is presence.
Time and space to soak it all up, let it all in, let it all go and simply be.
Perhaps presence is the opposite of perfection. Or maybe presence is the ultimate perfection.
Presence means that we feel the preciousness of life. The dearness. The tenderness. The fragility. The fullness. The fleeting nature of the Now.
Presence means that we open ourselves to the present moment, with all the pain that opening can bring.
The present, the biggest gift we can give our children, ourselves, our lives…
The present, the only way to our memories, hopes and dreams.
To be present means that we will get dirty. The process of presence will be messy and unpredictable as we flow in and out of each moment. With consistent and persistent effort, we find some sense, some semblance of presence.
The fullness. The overflowing possibility. The plump potential.
We will certainly slip. Yet…
Even as we find ourselves falling, we find ourselves with profound choices in the present:
Into our hurt, our joy, our gratitude, our anger. Even in the heated moments, to fully acknowledge and consciously shift towards what matters to us, our values, and the way we want to live.
For tools, resources or support. For insight or information. For clarity or courage.
Thus, We Transform.
In our deepest imperfection comes our greatest accomplishments. Our deepest pride. The most profound presence we might ever feel…Love.
When we allow ourselves to dig deep inside, to look deep within, to see ourselves fully with all our mistakes, to acknowledge every single one of our efforts to consciously and compassionately connect and communicate afterwards, we feel deeply loved in our imperfections, by the ones who really matter most: US.
The present is a gift you (only you) can give yourself…
Dear Imperfect Parent,
I invite you to continually seek presence.
It doesn’t matter if your house is a mess, you burned breakfast, your kids were late to school or you yelled instead of following that peaceful parenting book.
I invite you to love yourself deeply. To nurture every bit of compassion, courage and confidence you can in yourself to shift your beliefs and habits towards what matters to you. To live life from that place of awareness, of fullness, of sweetness, of preciousness.
I invite you to live fully, in the present moment and experience the possibility that lies within.
How would your experience of parenting be different if you sought to discard notions of perfection in favor of being fully and imperfectly present?
Coming Next Week: What to do if you are not wired for presence and peace…
[Ready to and rewire for presence and peace? Reach out and sign up about my free community calls or free weekly newsletter with tips and resources. AND, if you are ready for lasting shift and transformation towards peace, connection and presence, get one of the limited spots in my my Nurturing You program.]