Saying Thank You in Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
Common Forms of Thank You: Brief and vague
- Thank You
- I liked it
- That was fun
- Good Job
EXAMPLE: [A parent says to their partner] “Thanks for watching the kids.”
Thank You in NVC: Expansive and clear
When you speak kindly with the kids and stay present and gentle with your tone when they having big feelings and conflicts, I notice that they resolve problems quickly and they play for longer while I get work done. I feel grateful and joyful and cared for because I need support with the kids and trust that they are protected and safe. I also feel less anxious because I needed to accomplish some work tasks so that can meet my need to contribute to our family’s well-being and security. When I hear you and the kids laughing and playing together and making it through hard moments together, I feel joy and love and such peace in my heart. I feel loved.
I feel relief/joy/less anxious hearing you talk gently and play with the kids just now because I needed to get some work done.
“Thank You” as is doesn’t mean much, and, when we say what we mean Thank You is becomes unnecessary.
- How Do I Say “I’m Sorry” in NVC?
- Getting Unstuck: Using NVC to Nurture Connection
- A Living Family NVC Community on Facebook (closed, private group)
- Online NVC Series for Relationships and Parenting