Saying Thank You in Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
Common Forms of Thank You: Brief and vague
- Thank You
- Thanks
- I liked it
- That was fun
- Good Job
EXAMPLE: [A parent says to their partner] “Thanks for watching the kids.”
Thank You in NVC: Expansive and clear
“Thank You” in ASL (American Sign Language)
When you speak kindly with the kids and stay present and gentle with your tone when they having big feelings and conflicts, I notice that they resolve problems quickly and they play for longer while I get work done. I feel grateful and joyful and cared for because I need support with the kids and trust that they are protected and safe. I also feel less anxious because I needed to accomplish some work tasks so that can meet my need to contribute to our family’s well-being and security. When I hear you and the kids laughing and playing together and making it through hard moments together, I feel joy and love and such peace in my heart. I feel loved.
Shorter Version:
I feel relief/joy/less anxious hearing you talk gently and play with the kids just now because I needed to get some work done.
“Thank You” as is doesn’t mean much, and, when we say what we mean Thank You is becomes unnecessary.
*****
[…] Thanks to @flowchainsensei & @andreachiou for tweeting about this! <- Not a good way to say thank you in NVC. […]